Volleyball nerves, teamwork and parent etiquette

Big feelings are normal

Volleyball is a fast, visible team sport. Every serve, pass and swing is seen by teammates, coaches and families, so it is no surprise that young players sometimes get nervous or upset. Because the ball changes sides so quickly, a mistake can feel enormous in the moment and then be forgotten two rallies later. Helping your child understand this is one of the most valuable things a parent can do.

Helping with nerves

• Name it: say that nervous feelings are normal and that many players feel them, including experienced ones.
• Make a routine: a simple pre-serve routine, such as a deep breath, a bounce of the ball and a look at the target, gives a nervous player something familiar to do.
• Focus on the next ball: a missed serve or pass is over. The only ball that matters is the next one.
• Keep the goals small: instead of thinking about the whole match, aim for one clear job, such as calling the ball loudly or getting the first pass up.
• Breathe: slow breaths before a serve can settle a racing heart.

If worry about playing is intense or keeps your child from enjoying the sport, talk with the coach, and consider speaking with your child's doctor or a counselor.

Handling mistakes

Volleyball has many small errors, because rallies can last many touches and a single slip ends one. Teach your child a short reset after a mistake: a quick breath, a clap for a teammate and back to the ready position. Coaches often encourage a "next play" mindset. Celebrate when your child recovers quickly, rather than only when they succeed.

Being a good teammate

Volleyball depends on players trusting each other. A rally often involves several players working together. Good habits include:

1. Cheering for teammates after both good plays and mistakes.
2. Calling the ball clearly, so nobody collides or hesitates.
3. Helping to set up and put away equipment.
4. Listening when the coach talks.
5. Giving every teammate a chance to touch the ball.

Sportsmanship toward opponents and officials

Teams usually line up and give each other a handshake or a high five at the end of a match. Encourage your child to mean it. They should also respect referees, even when a call seems wrong. Officials are often volunteers or young people, and many are still learning. If your child disagrees with a call, they can talk to the coach, who can raise the question appropriately.

Parent conduct in the stands

Children notice everything their parents do at a match. A few simple habits make the gym a better place for every child.

• Cheer for effort and good plays by both teams.
• Leave coaching to the coach. Shouting instructions from the stands can confuse a player who is trying to listen to someone else.
• Never argue with referees or comment loudly on their calls.
• Stay positive when your team is losing, and graciously when it is winning.
• Follow the gym's rules about where to sit and where to stand, and keep walkways clear.
• If you have a concern, wait until after the match, and contact the coach privately.

The ride home

The conversation after a match matters. Many children say they like it best when parents open with something simple such as "I loved watching you play." Save any analysis for later, and only if your child asks. Ask what was fun, what they learned and what they want to work on. If your child is upset, listen first. A snack helps, too.

Keeping the long view

Most young players will not play professionally, and that is fine. The goal at this stage is for your child to move, make friends, build confidence and enjoy the game. Keep the focus on progress, effort and fun. To learn the rules so you can follow along, read volleyball rules for beginners, and find more on the volleyball hub.

Frequently asked questions

How can I help my child with serving nerves?

A simple routine, such as a deep breath and a look at the target, can help. Remind your child that a missed serve is over and the next ball is what counts.

Should I coach from the stands?

It is best to leave coaching to the coach. Cheer for effort and good plays, and raise any concerns privately after the match.

What should I say after a match?

Start with something simple like how much you enjoyed watching. Ask what was fun and let your child lead any deeper conversation.

What if my child is very anxious about playing?

Talk with the coach, and consider speaking with your child's doctor or a counselor.